Yeah I have not been in the gym for a week. After Anime Overload I got home with something nasty and then this week I had stress headaches and then my feet keep swelling I don't know why, but they are. It seems water, so I am taking water pills like my Doctor told me to and we'll see in a couple of days. Blood pressure is fantastic, but I do need to drink more water.
But now to my rant and thoughts...
So this toxic relationship that I had ended over a year ago. But I still am harboring nasty feelings about it. Most of all I am beating myfself up to have let it go out of hand like it did. I've done some crazy things during that time and jeopardized my marriage and my family for this one person. And I am still apologizing to my husband even thou he forgave me and blames the other person just as much for being so manipulative. But it still lingers.
What pisses me off the most is that in hindsight I realize how bad it was, how many times I put the "friendship" in front of everything else, and it is sad, cause I didn't get much in return. I am just amazed and what I put up with, accusations and crap that nobody should have. So I am not sure where to go from here, everybody tells me to let go, but it is hard. And I know Karma is a bitch and it will bite eventually.
But then here I am so blessed, with a wonderful husband ( I think he is the best in the world, but I might be biased) two beatiful kids. We have a brand new house, I made new friends which I now know are better friends already then the other person ever was. I found my creativity again and a outlet for it in my shop.
So why am I still mad??? I don't know, but I hope eventually I can let it all go.
Thanks for reading.
Claudia
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